a gold star from a child

 

anthony: [watching sponge bob square pants and holding his precious blue bear] i'm getting really sick of this. you hurt my feelings.

me: [tucking in blankies at the bottom of the bed...and trying not to giggle...because in these first four years of his life on this earth, i've never heard him use the expression, he's 'getting sick of' anything] what are you feeling sick of? how did sponge bob hurt your feelings?

anthony: [again] i'm getting really sick of this! you hurt my feelings!

me: [amused...yet, confused] i don't understand. are you feeling something sponge bob did in the movie is hurting your feelings, or are you feeling something i did hurt your feelings?

anthony: you hurt my feelings, auntie nean.

me: [stopping the blankie-tucking and sitting beside him amongst the piles of pillows] oh, sweet boy, i hurt your feelings? thank you for telling me. will you talk to me about it and help me understand how i hurt your feelings?

anthony: [looking at sponge bob] you followed me, auntie nean.

me: i hurt your feelings because i followed you?

anthony: [looking at bear] yes.

me: [still not understanding, pausing for thought and clarity] are you talking about when i heard a strange noise in the bathroom, and i knocked and opened the door to find you spraying water in your mouth with the squirt bottle, and i took the squirt bottle away, and gave you your favorite purple cup with water in it?

anthony: [still looking at bear] yes. you followed me.

me: oooh, now, i understand. so, you felt followed when i came into the bathroom to see what you were doing, and this hurt your feelings?

anthony: [now, looking at me very intently, with very sad eyes] yes.

me: oh, sweet boy, i did not come into the bathroom to hurt your feelings. i came into the bathroom to keep you safe. right now, your mommy is not here to watch over you, and she is trusting me to take care of you and keep you safe. you're a big-boy...but not every squirt bottle has water in it ~ some bottles have liquid in them that may look like water, but it's really something that can hurt you ~ so, until you're a bigger-big-boy who is old enough and learned to know what can hurt you and what cannot...i will keep following you, because i love you and i want to keep you safe. it's okay to feel frustrated with auntie nean. you can feel hurt or frustrated or angry, and i'll always be right here, loving you and keeping you safe. especially when your mommy's away. your mommy is counting on me, and i want to do a good job.

anthony: [eyes brightening, and a smile lighting up his face] good job! good job!! auntie nean!!!

me: thank you, sweet boy.

anthony: how 'bout can i have some big hugs and kisses?

me: [my heart overflowing as he snuggles his way in my arms] you bet you can. always. no matter what. i love you, anthony.

~ janean christine mariani