all hallow's eve

i rarely commute to work on the freeway. i choose to meander along above the sand and sea, sailing my course to and fro each day. on this particular sacred october morning, i was meandering along above the sand and sea a little behind schedule. quite simply, i was running late. barring any unforeseen delays, i would be on time; though, with even the slightest of delays, i would be cutting it close. i am by nature a patient person, yet i felt my irritation level rising at each stop sign and stop light. i tried my best to remain present, yet i found myself feeling increasingly frustrated. by the time i reached the final mile along the seashore on the west side of town, i was in no mood for the enormous, out of town, bright yellow school bus that merged in front of me. buses never take this route! what was this behemoth of a vehicle doing on this narrow, two lane stretch of beach road? and, furthermore, why on god's green earth was the bus traveling at ten miles slower than the posted speed limit?! in that moment, i allowed my selfish frustration to foolishly convince myself this bus driver was a thoughtless, malicious person who was intentionally trying to get on my last nerve and make me late. all self responsibility and accountability, for owning my part in being late, had seemingly vanished. i was relieved as we approached the final bend, wrapping around the cove, before the straightaway ~ for, when the bus was on the far side of the turn and i was on the near, i would have a clear view of the bus driver ~ as, i had decided i would scowl at this thoughtless individual who had intentionally sabotaged my morning commute. if i was a fictional character, in the fairytale of little red riding hood, i would be scoldie locks. i was contemplating, practically rehearsing, my facial expressions as we entered the turn. and as it rounded the corner ahead of me, the port side of the school bus came into view. in that moment, everything i thought was moving in slow motion, suddenly moved in slower motion; and it is difficult for me to recall many other moments in my life when i have felt more ashamed of myself. the sunlight shimmering on the tide pools below, sparkled like dancing diamonds on the side of the school bus, and illuminated the smiling faces of the little children in brightly colored halloween costumes joyfully peering from its windows. there were princesses and power rangers, ballerinas and bandits, tinkerbells and teenage mutant ninja turtles. their little hands were reaching out into the sea air, gleefully waving at everyone and everything and nothing at all. and sponge bob square pants was driving; his smile, just as big and joyful and innocent as the children's. my heart melted. and somewhere in the melting was the vanishing of the ugly selfish mask i had put on. this kind man had lovingly given of his precious time and energy to bring an added measure of joy and beauty to the lives of these precious children; some of whom, may have never seen the ocean before, or perhaps do not have the opportunity to witness the magnificent splendor of the sea on a daily basis. as they reached the end of the bend, the driver honked the deep baritone horn of the big yellow bus, and they all waved at me with radiant smiles on their beautiful faces. i could hardly see through the mist in my eyes, as i leaned out the window and joyously waved at them all in return, forever changed and thankful for the wise lesson this kind bus driver and the pure innocence of these children taught me.

~ janean christine mariani