yoga: breaking the silence

 

yes, a moment i had long dreaded, a moment when my maturity would be mightily tested, came to "pass" so to speak.  someone farted in yoga.  there i was, in inverted-triangle pose: my right arm perfectly aligned, threading the needle of my right knee bent and left leg ever so elegantly extended, my right ear and shoulder properly positioned to the ground, when this absolutely enormous sputtering sound shattered the silence of the peaceful room.  i was in shock.  complete and utter shock, i tell you.  and due to my immense appreciation for bodily function humor, i panicked.  my eyes opened wide as saucers, and i absolutely panicked.  i had actually conceived of such a dreadful moment, and felt two intense reactions arising within me: thank goodness  it wasn't me; and, oh my goodness-golly-gracious, i so wanted to laugh!  the only visible thing moving, my eyeballs, rolled while straining to get a glimpse of the culprit, or victim, in the reflection of the mirror.  there he was.  teetering in his triangle.  the strain must've been too much for the little guy.  it took all the human strength i could possibly summon within me to stifle the laughter that was filling my cheeks.  and all of the divine intervention from above to muster what little maturity i possess when it comes to flatulence.  breathe, for goodness sake...just focus on your breathing...but carefully, through your mouth, this could be dangerous!...this was my mantra i kept telling myself.  breathe, in.  breathe, out.  breathe, in.  breathe, out.  aahhh.  there.  and mystically or magically...no matter how one chooses to term it...magnificently and miraculously, i exhibited monumental maturity!  for once in my life i did not laugh at, what can only be described as, one of the loudest audible public farts i have ever experienced!

~ janean christine mariani