astrology 101

 

anyone who knows me knows that the extent of my knowledge with regard to astrology pretty much resides in the occasional glancing at the horoscope section in the local paper once or twice a year. some people believe your astrological sign is based upon the date you were born; others believe it is based upon the date you were conceived. me? one of the only things of which i am absolutely certain is: the more i live the more i realize the less i know. and though i do not base my life upon astrology, i am willing to allow the possibility exists that there are glimpses of truth in every thing. even in the stars.

i was conceived on valentine's day and i was born on the twelfth of november; so when i do take a gander at the stars, i read both aquarius and scorpio. following, is an actual reading in a local paper ~ of aquarius: it is important to acknowledge that you, like the planet uranus, are distinctly different than most. aquarius streams through uranus and both influence you. do you know uranus is tipped on its side, its atmosphere is arranged in layers of clouds, its magnetic-tail is twisted into a long corkscrew, its magnetic field's source is unknown, it's blue-green, has a moon, many rings and satellites, seventh planet from the sun, and third largest planet in the solar system? this unusual planet rules your entire life. value your differentness. it's unique and beloved.

and following is my direct paraphrasing ~ of aquarius: it is important to acknowledge that you are distinctly different...like uranus {so...this is a good thing?}. aquarius streams through uranus {ouch!}. do you know uranus is tipped on its side {hmmm...this could come in handy!}? uranus has an atmosphere arranged in layers of clouds {very nice...the rest of us just battle bad gas in unarranged and unexpected moments}, and its magnetic-tail is twisted into a long corkscrew {there are some wonderful over the counter products that can help you with this}, and its magnetic-field's source is unknown {though i strongly suspect cabbage has something to do with it}. uranus is blue-green {lovely}, has many rings {you should talk to your primary care physician if this condition persists}, and it has many satellites and a moon {um...yeah, but then again isn't that stating the obvious?}. uranus is the seventh planet from the sun and is the third largest planet in the solar system {okay now that was just a very cruel and insensitive remark...you just have big bone structure}. uranus rules your entire life {i am so sorry}. value uranus' differentness because it is unique and beloved {and doggonit...people like you!}.

and there you have it. astrological fiction and fact from a knightess almanac.

 

~ janean christine mariani